Best Dad Blog

My 12 week old baby is sleeping... well... Like a baby :)

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:10:00 +0000

Here's an update to those who have been following my blog for tips about getting a baby to sleep through the night.

At about 1 month I wrote a post giving advice to a parent of a 10 week old who was not able to sleep and was keeping his parents up all night. Now at the time I duly noted that it might not be fair for somone with a four week old to give advice to wone with a 10 week old. I can just imagine that father saying... you just wait a couple of weeks and see how well he sleeps.

Well, it's been a few weeks and my son is now 12 weeks. So I'm doing a quick follow up to let other parents know that the advice in my previous post is not rubish.

I mentioned that I did not have the 8 hours of sleep magic bullet for him, but guess what. My 12 week old son can now sleep for 8 hours at a time. He goes to bed about 8pm and he only wakes for one feeding and changing during the night at about 4am. He then goes quickly back to sleep until a reasonable 8am (although today he slept in with mom until about 10am... wow). I guess I really tuckered him out yesterday.

As new parents, my wife and I are quite pleased and happy to say to the 10 week old parents out there that if you start to give your kid a floor time workout... you'll not only tire them out so they sleep well through the night, but you'll also be developing your child physically and mentally which leads to social and emotional growth as well. (see comment on my previous post about sleep to see another parent who had similar success and can attest that years later her child is performing great and above and beyond the norm).

And a last bit of data on the subject. We recently moved cross country, so that means a new pediatrician and a new set of nurses who never seen him before. Everybody comments on how strong he is, how alert he is, how healthy he is and how they don't normally see these signs of early development for a few more months.

He's just about to crawl at this point and moves around quite a bit at night. We can here him at night pushing buttons on the light and sound effect toys even though we didn't put him anywhere near them. He's learning cause and effect, and getting smarter every day!

Here's some fun photos of him playing with a Tortoise and a turtle given to him by a great friend and mentor. We put velcro on the back of the Tortoise and on the belly of the turtle and played with him teaching the difference between rough and soft textures. It was quite fun and I was able to show rough and soft on the velcro as well as soft on the turtle, soft on my sons face and rough on daddy's face. My face is rougher than the velcro and you should have seen his eyes light up when I said rough and grazed his hands across my face.

Anway... here are the pics and having some fun!

Learning Soft & Rough with Velcro Buddies

Tummy Time with Pals - what a good little floor baby!

Turtle Passes the Taste Test During a Break

He loves his turtle

Talking about the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:59:00 +0000

Well, here's a quick little blog entry that features me as a father vs my son as my student.

I was lucky enough to attend the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential last October and recently I have been featured on Birth2Work Radio where I discuss some of the things I learned at the Institutes.

Please click the play button or the link below to hear the radio show in full.

Aired on Birth2Work February 16th 2010

A Father's Joy

with Ken Collins

Listen to my show on Birth2Work Radio

Ok... so the show may seem like a shameless plug for myself, birth2work or IAHP, but it really is worth listening in to learn more about the institutes and why I bothered to create this blog in the first place.

In an attempt to be the best dad I can be, I'll try to feature my son more and myself less ;)

Six Weeks And Still Growing Strong

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:31:00 +0000

Well he's now 6 weeks old and is growing so quickly.

Since I last blogged, we celebrated his 5 week and one month birthdays and had our one month checkup with the pediatrician.

He's growing so fast he seems to have doubled in size already. The doc was surprised at how strong his neck was, because most babies necks get even more floppy at this age as many babies are not active enough.

I wasn't surprised. My boy gets floor time, tummy time and play time every day and it seems to be paying off as he grows strong and healthy.

Here he is just trying to crawl some more.

You'll notice he gets all his parts going, he just doesn't quite have them all going at once.

And here he is trying real hard to get himself going.

You'll notice he still fusses a bit from time to time when he's trying real hard like that. The important thing to note is that the fussing is normal and is definitely different from crying. I purposefully posted this video so you could see the difference, he really does like it on his tummy, I swear.

He's only 6 weeks old so he's not quite cruising around yet... but I'm proud of him.

By the way for those who read my previous post about getting your baby to sleep... I'd like to follow up with a little warning about not getting your baby down on the ground.

I shirked on his evening play time one night and we woke up every 3 hours versus the comfortable every 5 hours we were getting used to.

Here he is all tuckered out at the end of our play time today.

In my attempts to be the best dad, I'll try not to forget any more play time. It's just too important :)

Note to New Parents Who Want a Good Night's Sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:01:00 +0000

THIS POST IS A NOTE THAT I WROTE TO A FELLOW NEW DAD WHO IS FRUSTRATED ABOUT NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP AT NIGHT. I FIGURED I'D ADD THE NOTE TO MY BLOG FOR OTHER PARENTS OUT THERE. THESE TIPS WORK JUST AS WELL FOR MOM'S OR DAD'S.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO FORWARD THIS NOTE TO YOUR FRIEND, FEEL FREE!

Dear Friend,

This is Ken, who has a newborn boy (just about 1 month old).

They tell me that you and your wife are having a bit of trouble sleeping at night and that it is driving you nuts.

I can relate because even the few times that I have to be awake at night can be grueling and frustrating.

I will tell you before I give my tips, that our baby does still wakes up 2 to 3 times per night, but instead of being up for an hour or more like when we first started, he generally wakes up for a changing and / or feeding and then that’s all he needs.

The longest we’ve had him sleep at a time is 5 hours, so hopefully you’re not looking for a magic 8 hour trick as I have not found that one yet. Remember, newborns do need to eat and poop often.

Here’s some tips that I have received and how they did or did not work.

Use a pacifier.
We weren’t keen on the pacifier idea anyway, so as soon as he rejected it… we rejected it.
Feed every hour on the hour starting at 6 or 7 pm until you go to bed.
This sounded good in theory, but in practice he ended up needing to wake up for more changes and he wanted to eat again anyway.
Tummy Time works if you can do it for more than 30 minutes (we’re up to over an hour on the floor at a time).
I would amend this to be called floor time, because as you noticed, your baby doesn’t take the tummy right away and play time is over in about 30 seconds or less.

Ok… so of the three methods above, floor time was by far the most successful. The concept is quite simple. Work him out and he’ll be tuckered out.

Now I should start by noting that the stay-at-home parent should do workouts and other developmental practices early in the day as that is when the child is most apt to be alert and thus learn the most from your efforts. With that said, it’s not the afternoon that you are hoping to get the kid to sleep through, rather the nighttime, so I practiced floor time in the evening in order to get him to sleep through the night. Now he’s on the floor just about anytime he’s awake, and actually right now he’s taking a snooze on the floor as we already did some morning time play.

So, how do you do floor time if your baby starts crying???

Here’s how. First, understand the concept of Tummy Time and realize that it is needed to counter balance all the time on the back (especially when we are told to sleep the baby on the back to avoid SIDS). While my baby is napping on his belly as I write this, we put our baby to sleep on it’s back like “normal” parents. However, now that he’s has so many hours on his belly, I have no problem letting him nap on his belly while supervised.

Ok… so now let’s bend your brain and turn your activity from “Tummy Time” to “Floor Time”. You’re going to tucker him out if you can get him moving. So, if you give up too easily by putting him on his stomach, hearing him cry and then getting frustrated… start on the back.

Here’s some tips for getting him from the back to the stomach:

Get on the floor with your child.
Lying down next to him will help him understand the floor is not bad. Standing over him wondering why he doesn’t get it won’t help at all. Re-think how you feel about the floor.
Realize your child is safe on the floor.
It’s hard to fall from the floor… you’re already there! This means you can let him move freely without worrying about harming himself (obviously keep small and sharp objects out of reach).
Play with your child.
Make it fun. Some of the activity will be work… so make it as fun as you can (just like playing sports is work but fun at the same time).
Start on his back if he’s uncomfortable on his stomach.
From his back you can roll him all the way to one side, and then all the way back to the other. Eventually you can roll him all the way to his tummy and then back.
Roll him to his tummy rather than placing him on his tummy.
If you pick him up off his back to put him down on his stomach… get used to doing that forever. Rather roll him to his front so his brain starts to figure out… I can do this.
Tummy Time is easy once the child realizes he can get to his back or side or where ever he wants to be.
When a baby is fussing while on his tummy and moving his legs… realize that he isn’t yet crying.
While the longer the child lays there frustrated that they can’t move will eventually result in full on crying, it is important to realize that fussing is something he is going to do while he tries to figure out how his body moves. Don’t be discouraged by the fussing and realize its different then crying and you will on your way.

If your spouse can’t stand to see them fuss, tell them to take a little walk around the block or something, because it’ll be over in no time. Not letting them fuss and work will be your biggest mistake. You’ll be robbing them of the activity and teaching them that crying is the only way to get attention.
When the baby does cry, roll them back to the back and you should see them settle down.
Leave them on their back too long and they’ll cry until you roll them onto their belly. Eventually they will roll themselves when they want.
Take it slow. Don’t expect to get everything done in one sitting. Start with 10-20 minutes on the floor, then progress to a half hour or more. Within days you will be doing over an hour on the floor without noticing it and your baby will sleep much better at night.
Lastly… IMPORTANT NOTE!!! Try stopping the floor time BEFORE he wants to stop.
Try for too long and he’ll get upset and not want to get down there again next time.

Get him off the activity early and he’ll long for the next time he can play.

You can see some videos of me doing this on my blog at www.bestdadblog.com (see links in the sidebar). Also note that I started floor time activities on day one, so if it takes a few days or even a week to see “real” results, don’t worry, you’ll get there.

One last note… you should get some sort of a mat or play area that is designated for floor time, that way when you get down on the mat with him, he’ll know what’s up.

Remember, your child loves you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. If you fill it with fun and learning and activity, he’ll sleep great. If you don’t, he’ll keep you up until you pay attention to him.

Good luck,

Ken Collins

Co-Founder www.eXerciseFriends.com
Chief Technology Officer www.birth2work.org
Writer / Owner www.bestdadblog.com

3 weeks old - audio, visual and physical stimulation

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:15:00 +0000

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!!

Well, my boy is now 3 weeks old and he's been working more on rolling over and crawling, as well as some new things.

Seems like ages since his first photo (shown below)

In today's video essay, I'll show some work we've been doing with light and sound stimulation. Lastly, I'll show you some rolling over that we practiced today.

It's really neat to see him learn with each day that we play, and it's fun to practice some of the things I learned at the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential.

LIGHT / VISUAL STIMULATION

In the following videos I'll show you some light stimulation we've been doing. Keep in mind that we've been playing with light since the day he was born.

The first day of life I took him into a dark room and turned on the lights... let his eyes adjust and then turned them off. I repeated it three times while telling him what I was doing. While I do not have video of this practice, I can say it was worth while and got him to recognize light, shapes and shadows right off the bat. The nurses even made mention of how alert he was and he seemed to see much more than babies are "supposed" to.

Anyway, back to what I DO have videos of.

In the following video I show you how I used a flashlight to stimulate his visual senses.

You should be able to notice him follow the light with his eyes and even move his head to find the light.

In this next video, he is clearly following the light move around him.

And in the next video we do a little more playing with the flashlight, blinking the light and counting to ten.

So not only is he getting his visual stimulation, but now he's learning his numbers too!!! Not bad for 3 weeks old. He makes it look as easy as 1-2-3.

SOUND / AUDIO STIMULATION

Next up we have audio stimulation using crackling sounds.

And in this video you can see him clearly react to the sound.

And here you can see him starting to find the noise maker all by himself.

This is part of the learning process and it's pretty cool to see him interacting.

It's pretty cool to see him figuring things out as we play.

SOUND AND VISUAL - PUTTING IT TOGETHER

Ok... so in this next video he follows the lights and the sounds. He even starts to reach for the noise maker himself.

With his improving vision and dexterity, he'll be reaching and grabbing for things in no time.

ROLLING OVER - 360 DEGREES

In the next video you'll see me assist him in rolling completely over and then all the way back to the other side.

Now in my last blog post you saw him roll all by himself. In this next video you'll see me assist him all the way over (360 degrees) and then him rolling half way over (180 degrees) all by himself.

Ok... that's it for today's blog.

I hope you enjoy the videos and our developmental progress.

The first 2 weeks of life: a photo / video essay of early child development

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:32:00 +0000

Well, it's been a while since I've updated my blog, so I'll have to catch up a bit.

The pregnancy went very well... pretty much text book. Each visit confirmed our baby was getting more and more healthy and mom and child grew together as dad patiently waited his turn to care for his seed.

Since the last time I posted, I've attended a week long parenting course at the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential. The course was called "How to Multiply Your Baby's Intelligence" but it could have easily been named "This Course Multiplies a Parent's Intelligence". I could not say enough good things about the Institute, so I will just say I whole heartedly endorse the course and the work they do for well babies and brain injured children. If you have any thoughts at all of attending a course in parent training... this is the course!

The institutes taught me a LOT of things and reinforced thoughts I already / naturally had about parenting and a child's development. Mostly it armed me with the information I needed to jump start my child's education, intelligence and motor development.

You may notice me reference the Institute in future posts as I try to demonstrate some of the knowledge I attained.

Tonight, on the 2 week aniversary of my baby's birth, I'll upload some photos and videos from the last 14 days and show how I started on day one to get my child to where he is today... a whopping 2 weeks old.

SO BEGINS THE JOURNEY

Below I'm going to post a photo / video essay of the first 2 weeks and my baby boy's early child development.

FIRST GLIMPSE

Here's my boy only seconds out of the womb... still attached to mom at this point.

CUTTING THE CORD

It's kind of difficult to see, but I'm the white armed, white gloved guy cutting the cord. The cord was a tougher consistancy than I expected... a bit rubbery if you care to know.

EARLY BONDING

This was the first time I got to hold him and I was in such a zone I didn't even realize I still had on the surgical mask. I was actually told "you can take the mask off now" which I found to be a bit humerous. I forgot it was on and would have probably worn it all day if I wasn't told otherwise.

SKIN TO SKIN BONDING

This is a few minutes later. I finally have the mask off and got out of my sterile suit. The nurses were going to bundle him up or I could opt to go skin to skin. I picked skin to skin of course and begun the bonding process. My boy and I grew pretty close that day and closer every minute and every day of his life. We're best pals now (although he might put mom a bit higher on his top friends list).

BEING SILLY

In case you thought I was an ivy league hoity toity because I took a "How to Multiply Your Baby's Intelligence" course at the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential... I just wanted to correct that possible misconeption with my kid's first goofy dad pic.

I'm a normal guy, with goofy tendancies and a brilliant, beautiful little boy.

OK... SO HERE'S THE DEVELOPMENT PART

In the following videos I will show you some things I did on day 1 and then my boy's progress at 2 weeks of age.

SIDE TO SIDE DAY 1

So, this is day 1 and as you can see, his side to side action is being manipulated by me, rather than doing it himself. I didn't expect my child to come out knowing everything, so here's one of my early attempts at showing him that there is more to life than being swaddled, laying on his back and sleeping. Check out the 2 videos below to see what he's doing by week 2. Make no mistake, these early movements and manipulation are intentional and pay dividends as demonstrated in the next videos.

ROLLING OVER - WEEEK 2

So here he is at week 2. He's rolling over all by himself. Now since you are reading this, you probably can't remember learning how to roll over for the first time, but I can assure you there are other babies out there that are not doing this yet and they are 2 months older than him.

Now I'll agree that it's not totally amazing, but it is one of his first steps towards physical excellence and if you look back at the video before this, you should see that the activity that was assisted on day one is now being done all by his self by week 2 (by the way, he's been doing this for a few days now). And for those of you who are only midly impressed but think it might be a fluke manuver... check out the next video to see that he can pretty much do this whenever he wants to (if you listen to me, talk you'll notice that he seems to understand what I'm asking him to do... take my word for it, he doesn't just roll on his back all day. He knew what he was doing).

2 WEEK OLD BABY - ROLLING OVER AGAIN

As you can see, rolling over is no fluke. He really know's how to do it (Albeit a little reluctant in this video). Remember, the kid is not a circus act, so rolling over just because dad says so is not always going to be what he considers fun. Actually, even though he is crying, he is fussing mostly because what he is doing IS hard. It's a lot of work to coordinate all those muscles and get that body turned. Most babies have floppy necks at this stage of life and he's using it as a lever to flip himself over. For those thinking I'm pushing my kid a little too far, please note that this activity took less than 3 minutes of his day and the other 23 plus hours I spent loving and caring and tending to his every whim... just like a "normal" parent ;)

2 DAYS OLD - CRAWLING AND CLIMBING

My boy got "tummy time" from day one. In fact the first couple of days he nearly lived on my stomache and chest while mom recovered from a very tough day following a tough 9 months. If you scroll up and look at one of the first pictures posted in this photo video essay, you'll notice we started belly to belly just moments out of the womb (for those who do not know what tummy time is, please see link above and don't mistake stomache to stomache skin to skin as tummy time). Hopefully my aside didn't confuse you, but if we look at the video directly above you'll see that the baby is on his belly, moving his feet and arms and scootches his way from my belly button to my neck. This was not floor time which many would consider to be tummy time, but he was definitely getting his and you'll see how it pays off in later videos.

2 WEEK OLD BABY - ALMOST CRAWLING

OK, OK... so calling this crawling is kind of a strech, but you should notice that he is definitely moving his legs in an attempt to move himself accross the floor. The surface is a bit slick and he's still working on getting his arms to cooperate, but he'll be motoring in no time. You should notice that the scootching he does on his second day of life in the preceeding video is starting to pay off and he'll soon be moving about the house all on his own.

SO WHAT, WHO CARES???

I care. I care a lot actually. I care so much about what I'm writing about today that I'm taking precious moments of sleep-time and moments of my child's early life to document some of what I've learned and what I'm doing to give my child the best start at life. I write this BLOG to journal my child's develpmental journey, so I can look back and fondly remember the little things in life that make a big difference. I also write in hopes to inspire other dads to take the time and effort to make your child's early days the foundational building blocks he or she needs to develop into the self sufficient brilliant child you know they can be.

If you cherish the great moments growing up with your dad as much as I do, you should understand how important it is to have these great moments with your kid.

In an attempt to be the best dad I can be... I vow to have as many great moments as possible!

Here's me an my son enjoying one of those moments

We heard the Heart Beat

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:25:00 +0000

So we just started our 11th week of pregnancy and it was time of our third doctor's appointment.

Since this is our first child, it was our first third doctor appointment, so we had no idea what to expect.

It was pretty short. She weighed in 3lbs over the previous month which was good and we talked to the doc briefly about the overall progress so far. Everything is progressing well.

It seemed that was going to be the whole visit and all of a sudden, she pulls out a device that let us hear the heart beat.

That was pretty cool, because the ultra sound weeks ago did not allow us to hear anything... just see it. It's kind of funny that it's called an ultra sound if you can't hear anything.

Anyway, it was pretty damn cool to hear the heartbeat. It's beating fast as per normal at about 160 beats per minute.

That's the update for now.

Just thinking about being a dad makes me tired

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Wed, 20 May 2009 21:33:00 +0000

I know I should be basking in the glory of silence and freedom as the last moments of pre-parenthood slip away and my new journey begins.

But instead, I'm looking at the process of raising a child and realize.

I'm tired just thinking about being a dad!

Wish me luck on my way to being the best dad I can be.

First Doctor Visits: It's official, she's pregnant.

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Wed, 20 May 2009 19:25:00 +0000

Ok, so we just went in for our "early" ultra sound... which means there will be more ultra sounds.

We're only on the 8th week and this is already our second doctor's visit. I think I need to have a talk with the doc and see which visits are really necessary and which are superfulous monitoring.

I want to give my baby a healthy up bringing, but I don't want to become doctor dependant.

I do question the dependance on being at the doctor or a hospital all the time. How many of the doctor visits are going to be neccessary and how many are not?

I'm not sure how I feel about the ultra sound. It seems like over kill to me. But it was pretty cool to see the little bugger on the computer screen. I'll admit that.

Although the machine does not let you hear the heart beat, we were able to see it beating rapidly, which is very normal. About a baby / fetus rapid heartbeat (about.com)

So now it's officially official. My wife is pregnant and we're going to be parents.

I guess we have another ultra sound at 20 weeks to find out more information, but I'm kind of weirded out about looking in there all the time.

In the old days (back when I was born) they didn't do ultra sounds and I'm pretty sure babies were still being born. In fact, I'm pretty sure babies have been born for generations with out these fancy gizmos and gadgets. However, I do know that modern technology can improve quality of life in many ways, so I'm torn on the issue.

While checking out the ultra sound pics was pretty neat, I'm not quite sure what it accomplished. I saw there was something in there, but I already knew that.

It made my wife feel better though, as she teared with relief that everything was going to be ok. That made it worth it.

One thing I have to keep remembering on my way to becoming the best dad I can be is that when mommy's happy... daddy's happy.

Oh yeah... here's a picture of our kid!

ultra sound photo at 8 weeks one day

My father in law says it looks like me :)

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Finding out my wife is pregnant

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:49:00 +0000

Now that we've been to the doctor and everything is official, I'm remembering back to when I first found out my wife is pregnant.

I hear a cry for my name and answer the call. "I'm pregnant" my wife yelled as I was laying on the couch.

I got up and went to the bathroom. There on the counter was a pee stick pregnancy test. I'd seen them before. My wife wanted to be pregnant and she was checking and hoping almost since the day we were married.

I remembered seeing wierd false positve like results on tests in the past. I would look at the questionable stick and it would be a negative sign with just a hint of a line down the middle. The box explains similar results which could mean positive... but in our case it was negative each time I gave a second opinion.

This time when I looked, it was undeniably a positve test result.

I don't know exactly how to explain the feeling I had. It wasn't quite disbelief, because I understood the whole process and could see the results right in front of me. I wasn't quite afraid, though I do ponder the challenges ahead. I felt like I was happy... I guess.

I say "I guess" with a smile, as I know I was happy. However, my wife would explain that I didn't show I was happy.

I remember it as a time when I felt a bit proud and deep in thought. My wife remembers it as me saying something like "yep, you're pregnant" and then going back to my work.

Oops!

Any guy reading this, remember to hug your lady when she tells you she's pregnant (and probably other important stuff too).

In an effort to be the best dad I can be... I'll try to remember, more hugs.

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I'm going to be a dad

noreply@blogger.com (Ken) — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:32:00 +0000

Hi,

My name is ken, I am 34 years old and I'm going to be a dad.

In these first few post, I am going to try to catch you up to speed, as I am now in the process of becoming a dad for the first time.

My wife and I just went to the doctor and found out we are 8 weeks and 1 day into the process.

Since I'm already getting conflicting feelings and feedback to just about everything related to rearing a child, I am writing this blog as a public diary of what this process has been like for me in my attempts to become the best dad I can be.

That is why this blog's title is called Best Dad Blog. (If It were to be about the actual Best Dad, well that would have to be a blog about my father :)

Please feel free to comment on any of my posts to give me your feedback.

Ken -new dad in the making

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