Note to New Parents Who Want a Good Night's Sleep

THIS POST IS A NOTE THAT I WROTE TO A FELLOW NEW DAD WHO IS FRUSTRATED ABOUT NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP AT NIGHT. I FIGURED I'D ADD THE NOTE TO MY BLOG FOR OTHER PARENTS OUT THERE. THESE TIPS WORK JUST AS WELL FOR MOM'S OR DAD'S.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO FORWARD THIS NOTE TO YOUR FRIEND, FEEL FREE!

Dear Friend,

This is Ken, who has a newborn boy (just about 1 month old).

They tell me that you and your wife are having a bit of trouble sleeping at night and that it is driving you nuts.

I can relate because even the few times that I have to be awake at night can be grueling and frustrating.

I will tell you before I give my tips, that our baby does still wakes up 2 to 3 times per night, but instead of being up for an hour or more like when we first started, he generally wakes up for a changing and / or feeding and then that’s all he needs.

The longest we’ve had him sleep at a time is 5 hours, so hopefully you’re not looking for a magic 8 hour trick as I have not found that one yet. Remember, newborns do need to eat and poop often.

Here’s some tips that I have received and how they did or did not work.

1. Use a pacifier.
   We weren’t keen on the pacifier idea anyway, so as soon as he rejected it… we rejected it.
   
   
2. Feed every hour on the hour starting at 6 or 7 pm until you go to bed.
   This sounded good in theory, but in practice he ended up needing to wake up for more changes and he wanted to eat again anyway.
   
   
3. Tummy Time works if you can do it for more than 30 minutes (we’re up to over an hour on the floor at a time).
   I would amend this to be called floor time, because as you noticed, your baby doesn’t take the tummy right away and play time is over in about 30 seconds or less.

Ok… so of the three methods above, floor time was by far the most successful. The concept is quite simple. Work him out and he’ll be tuckered out.

Now I should start by noting that the stay-at-home parent should do workouts and other developmental practices early in the day as that is when the child is most apt to be alert and thus learn the most from your efforts. With that said, it’s not the afternoon that you are hoping to get the kid to sleep through, rather the nighttime, so I practiced floor time in the evening in order to get him to sleep through the night. Now he’s on the floor just about anytime he’s awake, and actually right now he’s taking a snooze on the floor as we already did some morning time play.

So, how do you do floor time if your baby starts crying???

Here’s how. First, understand the concept of Tummy Time and realize that it is needed to counter balance all the time on the back (especially when we are told to sleep the baby on the back to avoid SIDS). While my baby is napping on his belly as I write this, we put our baby to sleep on it’s back like “normal” parents. However, now that he’s has so many hours on his belly, I have no problem letting him nap on his belly while supervised.

Ok… so now let’s bend your brain and turn your activity from “Tummy Time” to “Floor Time”. You’re going to tucker him out if you can get him moving. So, if you give up too easily by putting him on his stomach, hearing him cry and then getting frustrated… start on the back.

Here’s some tips for getting him from the back to the stomach:

1. Get on the floor with your child.
   Lying down next to him will help him understand the floor is not bad. Standing over him wondering why he doesn’t get it won’t help at all. Re-think how you feel about the floor.
   
   
2. Realize your child is safe on the floor.
   It’s hard to fall from the floor… you’re already there! This means you can let him move freely without worrying about harming himself (obviously keep small and sharp objects out of reach).
   
   
3. Play with your child.
   Make it fun. Some of the activity will be work… so make it as fun as you can (just like playing sports is work but fun at the same time).
   
   
4. Start on his back if he’s uncomfortable on his stomach.
   From his back you can roll him all the way to one side, and then all the way back to the other. Eventually you can roll him all the way to his tummy and then back.
   
   
5. Roll him to his tummy rather than placing him on his tummy.
   If you pick him up off his back to put him down on his stomach… get used to doing that forever. Rather roll him to his front so his brain starts to figure out… I can do this.
   
   
6. Tummy Time is easy once the child realizes he can get to his back or side or where ever he wants to be.
   
   
7. When a baby is fussing while on his tummy and moving his legs… realize that he isn’t yet crying.
   While the longer the child lays there frustrated that they can’t move will eventually result in full on crying, it is important to realize that fussing is something he is going to do while he tries to figure out how his body moves. Don’t be discouraged by the fussing and realize its different then crying and you will on your way.
   
   If your spouse can’t stand to see them fuss, tell them to take a little walk around the block or something, because it’ll be over in no time. Not letting them fuss and work will be your biggest mistake. You’ll be robbing them of the activity and teaching them that crying is the only way to get attention.
   
   
8. When the baby does cry, roll them back to the back and you should see them settle down.
   Leave them on their back too long and they’ll cry until you roll them onto their belly. Eventually they will roll themselves when they want.
   
   
9. Take it slow. Don’t expect to get everything done in one sitting. Start with 10-20 minutes on the floor, then progress to a half hour or more. Within days you will be doing over an hour on the floor without noticing it and your baby will sleep much better at night.
   
   
10. Lastly… IMPORTANT NOTE!!! Try stopping the floor time BEFORE he wants to stop.
    Try for too long and he’ll get upset and not want to get down there again next time.
    
    Get him off the activity early and he’ll long for the next time he can play.

You can see some videos of me doing this on my blog at www.bestdadblog.com (see links in the sidebar). Also note that I started floor time activities on day one, so if it takes a few days or even a week to see “real” results, don’t worry, you’ll get there.

One last note… you should get some sort of a mat or play area that is designated for floor time, that way when you get down on the mat with him, he’ll know what’s up.

Remember, your child loves you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. If you fill it with fun and learning and activity, he’ll sleep great. If you don’t, he’ll keep you up until you pay attention to him.

Good luck,

Ken Collins

Co-Founder www.eXerciseFriends.com
Chief Technology Officer www.birth2work.org
Writer / Owner www.bestdadblog.com